Becoming A Private I

I've recorded two vlogs now where I discuss updates on my life, but I haven't been able to bring myself to edit them.

I think it's because, deep down, I know I'm ready to stop being so freely public with my life.

When I first started sharing personal vlogs on YouTube, I was 24 and living in New York City, navigating spiritual awakening with the belief that everyone was going through the same thing. Fast forward eight years, and I've finally realized my journey is just that: my own.

I feel really, really lucky that I was unlucky at "popping off" on social media and making a living that way, because, boy oh boy I am terrified of that technological machine now. The way it encourages intense scrutiny and criticism of others makes me want to weep from gratitude to be spared from the eyes of the masses.

Especially because I finally realize that my point of view and my beliefs are so different from the masses'.

Believe me when I tell you it has taken me thirty-two years to see this!

And now I want to protect who I am because I see value in protecting me.

"Hiding in Plain View" speaks perfectly to this current phase of my life and how I will be operating for the foreseeable future.

I seek to be cozy in my corner of the world, working on writing, painting, and being present with my family and spiritual practice as I build a life that is highly specific to me.

If you're interested in keeping up with me on a more personal level--thanks! That really means a lot and I invite you to join my membership because I'll still be making vlogs--I will just not be sharing them with the "open web."

"Hiding in Plain View" is what I'm gonna do. If this is the last I'll see of you (I will still be sharing written posts but I understand if vlogs are more your style), I recommend you give the track a listen; it is absolutely brilliant.

And the perfect way to explain how I'm feeling now:

"Vulnerability is a scary thing/ and while I'm on the mend, my need is to love me--tend to my self care./ Hiding in Plain View is me choosing how much of my soul I'm willing to share.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

XO,

Spirit